The President of Iran, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, was wondering who to invade
when his telephone rang.

 "This is Mendes Schlepper in Tel Aviv. We're officially declaring war on you!"

"How big is your army?" the Iranian president asked.

"There's me, my cousin Moishe, Avi Goldberg and our pinochle group, Moe,
Larry, Joe, Shemp and Curly!"

"I have a million in my army," said the president.

"I'll call back!" said Mendes.

The next day, he called. "The war's still on!" We have now a bulldozer, and
Simcha Goldberg's tractor."

"We have 16,000 tanks, and the Iranian army is now two million men."

"Oy gevalt!" (OH GOODNESS!), said Mendes. "I'll call back."

He phoned the next day. "We're calling off the war."

"Why?", asked the president.

"Well," said Mendes, "we've had a little chat, and there's no way we can
feed two million prisoners.